If you're reading this, there is a good chance you're having a babaay! So let me first say congratulations! You're preparing mentally and physically for your life to change. You're making lists and checking things off (I did that, check here for one of my many lists). But I am not sure much can actually prepare you for having a baby. You'll bob, your baby will weave and no matter what, it's going to take a couple weeks to really get into a groove. The baby groove, if you will. #babygroove? I'm making it a thing.
Here are a few things I have learned in the first 4 months of motherhood. And if this advice helps just one person, that's good enough for me.
1. It's okay to ask for help.
You'll think you can do everything by yourself. I know I did. I would ask for help from my husband, but feel bad because he was also working. What you don't realize in all your mommy haze is that other people are just as capable as you. And not only that, other people want to also bond with your new baby. Let them. Its good for your brain to take a break every now and then. I also asked for help from unlikely people for unlikely reasons. Don't be ashamed or feel like your a bad parent if you do the same. Regardless of what you need and from whom, you're a rockstar mom. Don't forget that.
2. You will use a fraction of the things you buy.
No joke. You need about 1/4 of the junk you buy. At least right away. Wanna know how many times Ollie has slept in his crib? Less than ten times. I am going to make a list of things I feel I need, but the short version is: clothes (not many at all), receiving blankets, feeding stuff, diapers & wipes, small space for him to sleep, burp clothes and soap. Thats it. Maybe you'll need medicine and such, but buy it as you need it. Don't over do it.
3. Don't spend a lot of money on clothes.
I made this mistake. I bought so many cute outfits. Some more expensive than clothes I would buy for myself. But guess what PJ's were my favorite for him? Ones my mother-in-law got at Walmart for $1.00. One. Dollar. Also, if you could see how many clothes he didn't wear in the first two sizes you'd be sick. I made the mistake of taking the tags off everything or I would take them back for sizes he wears now. Buy what you need. Not seasonal (you don't know how fast or slow they will grow) clothes. Just plain, basic shirts, pants, and socks. Sooner than later you'll have your own opinion on what you prefer (buttons v zippers, etc.) and be able to pick out clothes faster than you'd imagine. You'll thank me.
I feel so strongly about this that I wrote a whole blog post on this specifically. Check it out here.
4. All the things people say about becoming a parent is true.
"It's different when it's your own kid" "You'll just know" & "You wont be able to remember a time without them" are all things that made me cringe when people would say this. I once had a conversation with a couple of mom's who told me life was gray before kids and I don't know love yet. It's all true. It's so hard to explain (another thing people say that drove me nuts). But I am now one of those moms. And its amazing. And the biggest thing? It really does come naturally. So relax and enjoy yourself. This time is so special.
5. Don't take your pre baby plans too seriously.
You've read books, got advice, saw other parents and decided the do's and don'ts. So much of that goes out the window when you have your baby. I said I wouldn't feed Ollie a bottle. Guess what? He ate more than I could make, so now we are primarily on a bottle and there isn't much I can do about it at this point. He falls asleep in bed with me.. also something I swore I would never do. Anything you can do to make your life easier and to keep everyone happy, do it. Sure, read your books at take advice. But don't take it too seriously and stay flexible. Find what works for you and your baby. It's going to be different for everyone.
What other advice would you give a new mom? Comment down below!
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